I have a deep, dark secret...

With every fiber of my being I hate Jane Austen. Her writing is boring, her characters are vapid, spoiled, rich girls waiting and day dreaming in prairie's full of flowers behind huge English cottage/mansions for a gorgeous, rich man to sweep them into true love...etc, etc, etc, barf! (And yes, I get that she was simply attempting to write a "biting social commentary" about the women of her day, moral issues, the roles of women's socioeconomic standing, and I probably have more in common with her than I want to admit, but let's face it her novels are a giant snooze fest).

Back in 2003 I did a study abroad in England, one of the English classes I took while there focused on female English authors and it was great, until we got to Pride & Prejudice. On discussion day many of my female peers were swooning, we went around our classroom of 11 and everyone gave their spill on what they liked and didn't like. Suddenly it was my turn, I simply said, "I hated it!" simple and to the point. For the next 45 minutes I was comparable to the witches of Salem and almost tied to a pole to be burned for my beliefs.

Fast forward 7 years to these golden nuggets of good fortune:

Both books keep the original Jane Austen text with new twists and turns making Ms. Austen actually interesting and hilarious, just when you think you can't take anymore of an ego-centric, shallow character-they are offed by some creature. When the elder Mr. Dashwood is brutally murdered by a hammerhead shark within the first three pages in Sense and Sensibility and Sea monsters, I seriously stayed up past midnight cackling in my room.

Defiling a classic you may say...I think these versions need to be included in every literary cannon. It might actually make English class way more enjoyable to those who don't aspire to be book geeks and writers. I bet Ms. Austen might even be thinking, "Pirates, Giant Squids, Zombies? Dang, I should have thought of that!"