Restroom Memorandum

To: Coworkers

From: Scared in the next stall


It is time to have a little chat about restroom etiquette. Since all of us have to work together our professional relationship should extend to the restroom we all share.

• PLEASE do not look under the stall to identify each person’s shoes who are in the stalls next to you, call us all by name, and then proceed to strike up a conversation about staff meeting, when you are taking your next break, your son’s little league, the cookies that are going to be on your Christmas goodie plates this year, or the black bear you called animal control on this morning. THEY CALL IT A POTTY BREAK FOR A REASON!
• Making a phone call or answering your phone while doing your thing is first of all revolting, and second makes me jump every time—just STOP! The person on the other end will thank you.
• Rinsing out your bowl after Spaghetti O’s and chicken noodle soup in the restroom sink is vile! Notice how the noodles can’t get down the drain? Soap and water only please!
• Touching up your perfume that has the distinct scent of lavender, battery acid, and goat urine. Trust me it was too much when you put in on this morning, it is too much in a room that does not have air flow!
• Leaving a bag of greasy Burger King, along with an open coffee cup on the sink is a bit Neanderthal. Does it even bother you how many people use this restroom a day, or how many micro-critters are dropping like dead flies into your coffee? Second, nobody can wash their hands with your make shift picnic spread in the way—Take it to your desk first!

Happy Trails!